Remember that moment, when we were kids, and the final bell rang on the last day of the school year? Remember how your heart fluttered, and a sense of levity settled into your body as you sprang up to gather in the hallways and say “see you soon” to all of your friends?
In adult life, I guess you can feel a wisp of the same. When you finally shut down for a weekend (given it’s work-free), and as you leave the office the air feels fresher, somehow. Filled with potential. You realize that for this little sliver of the week, it’s “me-time.” You can just be you! You can do whatever you want, focusing on fulfilling yourself, and spend time doing things you actually enjoy.
But how rare are these feelings?
Simply put, really rare. All too rare. Like only 30% of your life rare (give or take).
In a fleeting moment of leisure last week (a sliver of the aforementioned “me-time,” between finishing one project, and starting the next, in a centimeter-wide gap in my Google calendar, I was scrolling through Tumblr, looking for something to make me feel motivated, inspired, awakened. And I tumbled upon this.
It sort of scared me. It’s not that I haven’t found “something worth living for.” That’s not it at all. I have plenty to live for! But that doesn’t mean that I spend every day really living. Maybe I am kind of wasting my life away. I don’t make the most of every day – not even close. In fact, I spend much of the day doing quite the opposite. Wishing it away, watching the minutes tick until I can be home with Mr. P & Kingston, maybe read a book, or watch some mindless TV. But there are so many other things that make me happy. And almost more importantly, make me feel alive. Seeing friends, going to performances around the city (we have been going to The Moth and every time I go I like it more and more), taking classes, exercising, writing, traveling, cooking, being outdoors. And I guess it is sort of my fault that I don’t do any of it.
So even though New Years Resolutions feel premature at the moment (and I generally think they’re bullshit), this is going to be my resolution – to be the kind of person that makes the best out of Tuesday.