Newly Married Life

I weirdly feel like this is my debut post. It’s been a while since I’ve been an active participant in Jointly, even though I’ve certainly been around. As you all know – if you’re one of our usuals – I got married just over three weeks ago.

Our wedding was somewhat of a miracle. We did a lot of planning, coordinating, and perfecting, but the weekend itself went off magically. Maybe it was the bride in me, I was obviously riding a huge, gorgeous, life-altering emotional wave, but I think others saw and felt the magic, too. It is cheesy for me to say that it all just felt right? Like it was meant to be? Maybe it’s the newly wed in me. (And now I’m rhyming).

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After our wedding, my husband (wuuuttt?), who will from now on be referred to as Mr. P, and I spent twelve days on our honeymoon. A big chunk in Bali, and a smaller bit in Singapore. I never realized how amazing it is to have nothing to think or worry about but the person you love. But it was incredible. My work email was silent (thank you!), my personal email was ignored, and my Instagram was only updated periodically. Silent, secluded, serene perfection.

Now that I’m back, people keep asking me whether life feels different. It’s such a polarizing question, because YES, of course. I am married. My last name on all of my social networks is Pai. Alongside my life-long family, I have a new family. And my “own family.” That’s the weirdest part. One day when people say “your family,” they will mean Mr. P plus whatever presently non-existent members we’ll have by then. That’s very different.

But it also feels the same. I guess after dating for a while you get into a rhythm that can’t really be undone. And I think that’s what makes committing to someone for the rest of time less scary. I asked Mr. P whether he felt like we were married the other day, and he said “NO!” And I don’t really either. We’re still young and in love and living life like it’s just one big experiment. Plus marriage is for old people…

Hugs,

A

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The Cliché Post About Your 20s

So, by now we are all (maybe) growing a bit tired from the stress society puts on the twenties. You know how “the terrible twos” used to be a thing where toddlers go totally crazy and wreck havoc? Well, I sometimes feel like social media makes the twenties out to be equally as terrible.

We all use our twenties as an excuse to not have our shit together because hey, Thought Catalog told us that it’s totally okay and normal! We should experiment with unknown substances and well, even unknown people because we’re only in our twenties!

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I couldn’t disagree more. Your twenties aren’t just for trial and error, for failure and embarrassingly drunk nights. They’re a period of growth. But smart growth. It’s a decade of discovery (note: not “the” because honestly, I don’t think discovery, whether it be self-discovery or not, ever really ends). It’s the time to get to know yourself so that later on in life no one can push you around and make you doubt what you already know. Why are all these sites and blogs making excuses for our dumb mistakes rather than giving us advice on how to get what we want without taking the long, messy route?

Refinery 29 published a post titled How To Get Through Your Twenties, Sanity Intact. While it was a great read and filled with awesome advice from total badass women, I was almost offended. Why would you even suggest that just because I’m twenty-two years old, I’ve lost my sanity, morals, and probably six iPhones (the latter may actually be true)?

You know what, guys? I’m twenty-two and I know exactly what I want from life. And I didn’t need six years of keg stands, shady boyfriends, and occasional F’s to get me there.

So here’s to us. The people in their twenties who may not have it all, but still have their “shit” together and the confidence to have it all someday very soon.

Lots of love,

K