Bollywood vs. Reality

So, as most of you know (or should know by this point), I am a little bit of a Bollywood* junkie. So much so that a few days ago one of my friends informed me that one of India’s largest film production company’s was searching for a fresh new face and my stomach doubled over with excitement. This is my break. Naturally, my dad shot the idea down so fast and went on that whole “have you seen the filth in those movies”. I’m assuming by “filth” he means that on-screen kisses are now common in Hindi films.

Regardless, in effort to make myself feel a tad bit better about my now dead dreams, I have decided to write this post.

The differences between Bollywood and real life.


The concept of time is highly skewed in all Hindi films. You’re probably thinking, yeah K, obviously, it’s a story condensed into a measly three hours (joke because three hours is NOT measly. Honestly, try telling that to the six year old being forced to sit through Jodhaa Akbar). Yeah, I get that but that’s not what I mean. In Hindi movies characters fall in love at first sight. No not like a general intrigue or a damn, that girl is on fire…actual “Hello madam, I love you” love. And this “love” usually ends up lasting a lifetime. HA. Okay. School days last for the duration of one four minute song, and going from post-shower, wet hair, to hair extensions in and perfectly blowing in the “natural wind” takes a solid one and a half minutes. So it’s no wonder why the typical nine to five seems like a total drag and that my bicep hurts after twenty minutes with a blow dryer.

Song and dance

One of the most disappointing things about growing up on Bollywood is realizing that real people don’t sing and dance. Like excuse me, but I was brought up to believe that when I had my first crush we would spend days and days together running through fields in different outfits expressing our inability to sleep (oh because it is common in Bollywood for characters to become insomniacs when they’re in love) to one another. Instead? Instead I had to sit at the dining room table doing my Kumon (by doing I mean opening the answer booklet and copying down the answers…I mean really…why would you ever trust a kid with an answer booklet?) and wondering if my crush would still be on AIM when I was done. Most days he wasn’t.


No two guys have done this for me. Ever.

Boys and Love

There is just too much to say, I may have to break this down even further.

1. Daydreams

In Hindi movies both guys and girls only have one category of idle thinking…love. In reality, while I am over here daydreaming about   love, the guy I’m thinking about is daydreaming about motorcycles, brewing beer, and awesome facial hair. AREYOUSERIOUS?


Day dreamin’ like whattt

2. The romantic late night scene

You know that scene that Shakespeare invented? The classic girl on the balcony, guy in the garden scene? Yeah, Bollywood stole that shit and reinvented it at least 200 times. So naturally here I am expecting that…or at least a nice goodnight phone call (talk about low maintenance right?). Instead? On a good day maybe us ladies will receive a “Goin to bed, night”. Oh really? Because Ram snuck into Leela’s bedroom to share forbidden pillow talk and you say “goin to bed”? You don’t even care enough to add the last G? What the…

3. In reality boys are a lot shorter, probably because they can’t get away with wearing man high-heels.

4. Courting

In Bollywood the male lead will pretty much harass and stalk the girl until she’s like “okay, yay, I love you too!”. So imagine the surprise of Indian girls all over when their first crush confesses his love for her, she plays hard to get, and then the next day he’s dating some other sixth grader who’s already had braces. Yo, you’re supposed to court me for at least 2 months. And by court I mean get a group of guys and trail behind me singing songs until I give in.

5. Protectiveness

Raj from DDLJ got his ass handed to him by a bunch of random Punjabi men at a train station when he refused to leave town without the love of his life, Simran. And you are just going to let that random drunk guy hit on me? Not only are you going to let it happen, you’re just going to laugh and walk to the bar and get a drink? YES I can take care of myself but chivalry was never meant to die.


As you can tell from the above story in #5, trains are sort of a big deal in Bollywood. Raj and Simran. Aditya and Geet. Kabir and Naina. As a Chicagoan, I take the L like…multiple times a day. And I have been doing so for the past four years. And the only remotely romantic thing that has happened to me on the train is when R and I caught a glimpse of each other as the doors were closing. R ended up on a different car than I did, so at the next stop with both ran to one another and met on the car in between and hugged in victory. R is one of my best friends…and a girl. Other than that it’s very much just creepy people saying creepy things to you or to themselves which is even creepier.


The favorite Bollywood couple, Raj and Simran


2013’s modern day train scene

In a strange twist of fate, this post has not made me feel any better about my dead Bollywood dreams. In fact, it has somehow made me love Bollywood even more. I guess I am that brainwashed by Indian cinema. Sigh.

Lamely yours,


* Bollywood is India’s film industry. It happens to be the largest film industry in the world, bringing in about…well I don’t know because my Internet is being really slow. But it brings in a lot of money and Bollywood actors and actresses are essentially royalty. Each film is roughly between 2.5-4 hours long and almost every movie has a few songs sprinkled into the storyline. It is easily the best past time ever.



Where to begin on the topic of Mothers.

And not Mother like the company I work for, though it’s pretty cool to work for a company that’s all about “making your Mother proud.” Especially on Mother’s Day. When we have the day off. Awesome, right?



K and I are in constant awe of our Mother. Whether it’s Mothers Day or not, obviously. She is incredible. She managed to be a wonderful Mom, even though she was 21 (yes, just legal drinking age. Remember what you were doing at that age? Or… do you not even remember?) when I surprised her and came into this world. She had just moved to the US, far away from her parents in India, to marry my dad. They lived in the attic of my grandparent’s house in Cleveland, and my dad worked and went to school, while she single-handedly took care of me (and maybe even my grandparents, a bit).


She is the most positive, strong, and independent women I have ever met. And I’ve met a lot of amazing women.

Thank you, Mom, for giving K and I such an amazing life. For keeping our secrets, for making us laugh until we’re crying, and wiping our tears when they’re not happy ones. Thanks for always making us a cup of chai when we get home after a long flight, or drive, regardless of the time, and always drinking one with us. Thanks for dictating the same recipe for me 45 times, and still putting up with me when I call you 15 times while I’m cooking. Thanks for showing us that Motherhood isn’t scary, and that being a Mom doesn’t mean you lose yourself. Thanks for showing us what an amazing daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, wife, and friend looks like. Not saying we’re the bees-knees or anything, but who knows what kind of crazies we’d be if you weren’t our Mom. So thank you. For everything, and more than that. And more than that.

And to everyone out there – we know our mom is gorgeous. But thanks for reminding us. We promise to never wonder “WHAT ABOUT ME?” and just accept that our Mom is the prettiest Gautam Girl.

Love you until the end of time, Mom.

A & K

The Importance of a P.M.A.

I’ve been having one of those months (…few months?) when I’m having trouble focusing on the positive. When people hear me say this, they consistently think I’m insane. I’m engaged to the love of my life, we’re planning an amazing wedding, we live in the “greatest city on earth,” we have a really cute puppy, we both have families that will love us until the end of time, and friends that think we’re cool enough to occasionally invite us out.

Of course when I list this out, I sit back and think – holy shit *while smiling cheek to cheek*. But it’s not that easy to focus on the good stuff all the time. Wedding planning is also hard, we live in the most intense city in the world, our puppy is a handful (okay, actually I have no downside to this, the handful part doesn’t even matter), we’re far away from our families, and we don’t spend nearly as much time with our friends as we wish we could. Yes, in the grand scheme, these are just blips – I know this – but right now, it’s hard not to get caught up.

Life is not easy.

But there are still plenty, I mean plenty of things to be happy about every day. Even if one thing is falling to the wayside, there are other things that can help lift you right back up.

Yesterday, I was reading my horoscope (you know me, I’m into shit like that), and this is what it told me:


Okay, thank you for a kick in the ass cosmos. Why am I letting a fly ruin what is one of the best times of my life? Also… I don’t even know what the fly is! Working too much? Flakey wedding vendors? Not being able to decide where to go for our Honeymoon? I’m realizing how crazy I sound.

So… that was my horoscope. And then, a girl I know from college posted about #100happydays. Now I’ve seen this a million times on Instagram, and have of course chosen to ignore it (call me Pessimistic Patrice), but today I clicked. And it sort of caught me off guard. Like in a slap in the face sort of way.



71% of people don’t have enough time to spend two minutes a day marinating on what makes them happy. SEVENTY ONE PERCENT OF PEOPLE! That is madness – (given that as a strategist I know the data has been slightly fudged because it’s probably that people don’t have time to take an amazing picture and share it – don’t believe everything you hear! But…) the point is a compelling one.

Whether or not you commit to socially sharing what makes you happy for 100 days in a row (it is a big commitment!), we should at least take time each day to reflect on what makes us happy. OR maybe do consider partaking in an exercise like this! It keeps us all accountable.

A P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude) can take you far.

Here’s to happiness.



Quote Of The Day

Hey guys,

I know it’s been a while since I last posted, I was bombarded with all my exams in the span of one week, of course. But now, I’m lucky enough to be writing this from my parents’ couch (that I talk about all the time because yes, it is that awesome), with my pup at my feet, and on my dad’s MacBook Air. Clearly, living the life. You can expect more Cleveland adventures (some actual adventures, some just me sitting in this very spot and ranting on about things) in the next 10 days. Especially since A, along with all my cousins, will be joining me shortly.

But until then, I wanted to share this quote with you guys. As my friends and I wrap up our final year of college (I actually feel a pang every time I say that), we ponder the concept of growing up more and more. We tell ourselves to live it up now, because in just two months we will have to be fully matured adults. But…will we? I think we put so much emphasis on growing up these days that we forget that it’s actually an endless process. You’re never really done growing up. Anais Nin nailed it:

“ We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations. ”

So in the next few weeks, let’s not pressure ourselves to be adults, or act childish for the last time. Let’s just let our past, present, and future act on us as they wish. 

Just some food for thought.

Hope you all have a great week!




I Just…Can’t

But…I literally can’t.

One of my oldest friends, M, always makes fun of the way I talk. I actually think he’s been doing it since I was an awkward 85 pound fourteen-year-old with braces, so it’s really nothing new and I never take it to heart. Plus I make fun of his frat-boy antics just as much!

Anyways, recently I was texting him about something and my response was, “I can’t.” And he was like, “You can’t what, Kaveri?” Then he went into this huge long prologue about how “chiggs” (that’s what he calls girls…don’t ask me, I clearly don’t understand today’s slang. I’m still like “Wow! That’s so neat!”) always say “I can’t even” and he just doesn’t understand what we can’t do. And my response was, “Deal.” I can’t even deal!

There are a few versions of it, actually…

When something’s funny – I just can’t

When something’s sad – I really cannot

When something is hard – I can’t deal

When something is unbelievable – I can’t even

But after reading, and hysterically laughing at this link, I realized, this needs to stop! Honestly, I couldn’t even find a way to react because first I started typing “OMG dying” and then I was like ahh no. Then I started typing “I can’t.” Seriously?!

The best part? I sent it to all my friends and all of their reactions were along the lines of “Hahaha I can’t!”

I’m not sure where this trend came from or why it even came from anywhere. All I know is that it needs to end.

But I just can’t.

Hope your day is filled with flawfection,