Dear K, Happy (Belated) Siblings Day

Hey Sis,

Happy Siblings Day! Of course, while others are posting cute comic candids, I’m sitting here tearing up over the fact that it’s siblings day… Surprise surprise.

I feel so many things. Sad and blessed. Lonely and loved. Nostalgic and excited for the future. Right now, we are living in special circumstance. In the same city, the same industry. While we don’t share walls like we used to, we share our lives in a way most don’t. If we miss even the smallest details in each others’ life, we throw our hands up at the world, blame our jobs and force the other into essay-length text conversations, or full Saturday nights spent on the couch eating Mom’s frozen Indian food and talking for six hours straight.

There are days when I can’t help but miss when we were younger. Seeing the light under your door and knowing that no matter what you were doing, you were there for me. I miss waking up on Saturdays and singing songs together, making breakfast together, talking about our dreams together. And then I realize that even though on days it feels like you’re far away, if I called you or you called me, in a state of need, we’d be there in the time it took an Uber to show up and cross the Mid-town tunnel. We’re f*cking fortunate.

You know I’m a planner, and I always like to know what’s next. I can spend an entire day in a daydream… but lately I’ve been catching myself. Because who knows where life will take us? You’re in your mid-twenties, exploring the world, getting to know yourself, finding your footing. I never want your discovery to stop. I want you to go far and wide and crazy.

And while I’m not old or anything (despite that fact that just two weeks ago you discovered my first gray hair. Thanks a lot for that), at some point, my world may become more insular, while yours becomes more expansive. I may focus on home, while you may focus on more. While we have to be okay with that — the fact that life ebbs and flows — and we’ve both learned how to find the beauty in whatever life brings… very little in life is as beautiful as the time we spend together. So here’s hoping that we get boring at the same time. Start diets at the same time. And reach peak hangovers at the same time. That you continue to be precocious and act like you’re 35 when you’re only 25.  That whatever life throws our way, we’re always drawn back together – through the pull of a stiff cocktail, a decadent dessert or an unbelievably juicy piece of gossip. Or more likely, just through the simple power of our sisterly bond.

May we always act like the crazy kids we’ve always been.

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Love you,

A

Dear A, Happy Siblings Day

Dearest Sissy,

Happy Sibling’s Day! I thought this year, instead of the usual Instagram shout out, I’d give you something more.
It’s been quite a while since I sat down to write about you or our relationship. The last time I did, I wrote about living in your shadow. About how people would talk about me only within your context. And how, I guess that should have upset me. But it never really did. Growing up I could think of no better place to live than in your shadow. In the strong, graceful and kind cover and protection you provided for me. And in a way, we’re past that. I’ve grown into my own individual, yes – but still rely on that blanket of safety you continue to provide me.
The past few years have been a whirlwind for both of us. Each year going faster and changing our lives more than the previous one. From you tying your life to someone else’s to me cutting ties with an old home and starting afresh. We have been tested – in our careers, in relationships, in health. But never have we let this pattern of tests be applied to our relationship. In fact, I can only remember one time where we got close to testing the strength of our bond, only to drop it and order pizza.
Rarely do I say this, at the risk of hurting¬†others who are important to me, but you truly are the most influential and important person in my life. You’ve taught me everything I know. You’ve shown me more than anyone else, how to love my family, how to love myself and how to live a life I’m proud of. You’ve shared your passions, an industry, a city, a blog (and most importantly, Kingston) with me, and I can’t imagine sharing so much with anyone else.
I am so grateful to have you to turn to, to learn from and to laugh with.
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May we always show up to places in the exact same (unplanned) outfits

Love you long time,
K