The Same, But New


When A first showed me her post on Newness and asked if I had anything to contribute, I hesitated before passing. Nothing new has really happened since I last wrote – nothing’s changed, I thought.

In a way, this is the truth. I’m still at the same job, working with the same team. Still living in the same city, spending time with the same friends and family. I continue to spend my free time doing the same things as before. An outsider would notice no difference in my day-to-day life. To them, it would be like those scenes in the movies where they show time pass, but the character living through the same routine over and over again.

What’s interesting though, is that my life feels newer than it has in years. In the past five years I’ve experienced being in college, being unemployed, being new to the work force, being in love, being heartbroken and moving to a new city – just to name a few. In the last year, nothing major has happened. And yet, more has changed inside me than ever before.

Newness isn’t always physical. It isn’t always a milestone, either. Sometimes it’s just a mindset. Sometimes it’s just falling asleep to new thoughts and waking up with a different energy and then applying that to whatever comes at you during the day.

 It’s taken me a lot to get here. I’m talking years and years of feeling stuck in the same rut despite making so many efforts to shake things up. No matter what happened – I felt the same. The same things caused my heart to flutter, the same things broke me down. But at some point, after the repeated flutters and breaks – after the same sources of joy and sadness – my mind said no more. I can’t pinpoint for you when or how the shift happened. All I know is that I was dealt the same cards, once again, but this time what I did with them was different.

 I’ve read hundreds of quotes about how a new mindset is all you need to change any situation at hand. I’ve always believed it, too. But I thought myself too weak to force such a monumental change. What’s funny about this fear is that I’ve never been afraid of physical changes – a new hairstyle, a different career path, not even a different city. But to admit that the way I was viewing situations close to my heart and imagining my future was the root of my problem, was the scariest and most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. The most difficult, but the most rewarding.

 So here’s to new beginnings. For both Jointly and I – exactly the same as the old, but also so entirely different.




If you asked me in my last post – in November 2015 – where I would be now, there’s no way in hell I would’ve been able to tell you.

I had a Tarot reading done at the beginning of 2016, in the backroom of a crystal shop in New Orleans. The Hermit was front and center. A card of introspection, looking for answers within, and allowing oneself the luxury of solitary retreat.  At the time, I didn’t realize that this card would be indicative of my entire year. That 2016 would be all about shedding my own preconceived notions about lifestage, success, and companionship, in favor of allowing my experience to inform my life.

After my one month break in November 2016 (which went by in a flash, as you can imagine), I started a new job at a company that I thought could give me the one things I was really looking for – longevity. I could see myself growing there, taking on more responsibility, moving to an office closer to our families one day.

And longevity is something I (along with many other “Millennials,” so I hear…) struggle with. I like change, I’m invigorated by newness, and I can’t see the point of staying in a situation that makes me unhappy. Especially now, when Mr. P and I are just living for ourselves. We give ourselves the flexibility to make mistakes, change up our careers, take pay cuts. We’re lucky in this way.

My plan felt solid.

But as we all know, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. And awry they went. So by September, on the eve of my 29th birthday, I had a new job. One that I don’t think would have come my way without The Hermit and a proper dose of being real with myself – despite what it looked like from the outside.

Since I started at Wolf & Wilhelmine, life has been a whirlwind. Or rather, the world has become a vortex?

The election was a debilitating punch in the stomach. I was in a fog for days. I couldn’t come to terms with what the new presidency would mean, and I was grappling with what I could do.

So, I signed on to teach at The New School at Parsons. I walked in the Women’s March on NYC with some of my closest friends. I attended the Unaugural Ball, thrown by two of my powerhouse friends. And, we decided to bring Jointly back. Because this is a better time than any to be joint. To voice opinions and hear perspectives. To facilitate new ways of thinking. To experiment for the sake of positive momentum.

Here’s our new take. This platform should be all about togetherness. About building bridges and creating bonds. About support and productive conversation. And therefore, if you ever feel strongly about something and want to share, we welcome you to use Jointly as your platform. Let us know how we can help you. Let us know if we can lend our space. Let us know if we can catalyze our network.

Also, we’ll still be talking about the magical mundane as always, to stay true to Jointly’s roots :). In the midst of all of the chaos in our worlds, sometimes it’s fun to linger on the small things.

Thanks for having us back, and allowing us to be a part of your days.

Jointly Yours,

A & K