The Cliché Post About Your 20s

So, by now we are all (maybe) growing a bit tired from the stress society puts on the twenties. You know how “the terrible twos” used to be a thing where toddlers go totally crazy and wreck havoc? Well, I sometimes feel like social media makes the twenties out to be equally as terrible.

We all use our twenties as an excuse to not have our shit together because hey, Thought Catalog told us that it’s totally okay and normal! We should experiment with unknown substances and well, even unknown people because we’re only in our twenties!

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I couldn’t disagree more. Your twenties aren’t just for trial and error, for failure and embarrassingly drunk nights. They’re a period of growth. But smart growth. It’s a decade of discovery (note: not “the” because honestly, I don’t think discovery, whether it be self-discovery or not, ever really ends). It’s the time to get to know yourself so that later on in life no one can push you around and make you doubt what you already know. Why are all these sites and blogs making excuses for our dumb mistakes rather than giving us advice on how to get what we want without taking the long, messy route?

Refinery 29 published a post titled How To Get Through Your Twenties, Sanity Intact. While it was a great read and filled with awesome advice from total badass women, I was almost offended. Why would you even suggest that just because I’m twenty-two years old, I’ve lost my sanity, morals, and probably six iPhones (the latter may actually be true)?

You know what, guys? I’m twenty-two and I know exactly what I want from life. And I didn’t need six years of keg stands, shady boyfriends, and occasional F’s to get me there.

So here’s to us. The people in their twenties who may not have it all, but still have their “shit” together and the confidence to have it all someday very soon.

Lots of love,

K

Revisiting Sunday School

Hello all!

So the past few days, it seems as though Hinduism has popped up everywhere. I’ve seen random om tattoos (on non-Hindus…hey it’s cool!), signs of it in my favorite guilty pleasure, Charmed, and even in the book I was reading, Where’d You Go, Bernadette (more to come on this soon, but you should definitely try to snag it…or download it I guess). As someone who firmly believes in signs, I decided that all of these instances must mean that I’m meant to do a little research on Hinduism and maybe even become more religious. But as someone who has a Hindu god tattooed on their body, I should at least know more than the basics.

The number one reason Hinduism can be so confusing is because throughout its extensive history, there have been a vast number of key figures, each bringing a different philosophy, and sometimes even a different holy scripture, to the religion. It is for this same reason that Hinduism is frequently referred to as a way of life rather than a religion. All of this being said, most Hindus adhere to a body of texts (four of them to be precise) known as the Vedas and pursue a common system of values, dharma.

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The triumvirate are known as the three gods associated with the creation, upkeep, and destruction of the world. Brahma is considered to be the creator of the world and all of its creatures. Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge (one that I am familiar with through years and years of praying for good grades), is known to be Brahma’s spouse. Brahma, however, is the least worshipped god in Hinduism. It is said that this is either because a) his job as creator is done or b) his incessant pursual of Shatarupa, a woman he created to help in his creation of the world. Lord Shiva cursed Brahma for such incestuous behavior by making him a god that no one worships.

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Vishnu is the Hindu god of preservation and protection of the universe. It is said that in times of trouble, Vishnu returns to the earth in order to maintain the balance of good and evil. He has been re-incarnated nine times and believers say he will be re-incarnated one last time close to the end of the world. Two of Vishnu’s incarnations are known as Rama (the greatest warrior/ideal man) and Krishna (the mentally advanced man), who are respectively characters in the epic stories of the Ramayana and Mahabharata. Vishnu’s consort is Lakshmi, the goddess of success and wealth. Vishnu played a large part in the churning of the Milky Ocean (a story that explains how the gods defeated all the demons and became immortal).

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Lakshmi is known as the goddess of success and wealth not just to humans, but even to the other gods. It is because of her absence that the demons were able to take over the world in the first place and in order to get her and her blessing back, the gods had to churn her out of the Milky Ocean. This took 1,000 years, symbolizing that Lakshmi bestows good fortune on those who work hard, display virtue and bravery, and ask for blessings without greed.

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Shiva, the third god in the triumvirate is meant to destroy the universe, leaving room for re-creation. It is believed that his power to destruct is constantly in use, destroying any illusions and imperfections, paving a path for beneficial change. Thus, Shiva is seen as a source of both good and evil. Shiva is also known to be the Lord of Dance, which is a very important form of art in India. Shiva alone is known for his uncontrollable passions which lead him to extreme behavior. Parvati, his wife, brings him balance through their relationship of equality. Parvati is an incarnation of Devi, the Mother-goddess, who has also taken form as Kali, the goddess of death and Sati, the goddess of marital felicity. Together, Shiva and Parvati symbolize perfect marital bliss. Lord Ganesh is their son who has the body of a human, but the head of an elephant. Ganesh has always been a family favorite and is also my left hand man (literally). Ganesh is the Remover of Obstacles, new beginnings, and travel. Before getting my tattoo, I did a bit of research (it’s important to know exactly what will be on your skin forever), and Ganesh is always made to have large ears, to represent the importance of listening, a small mouth (if one at all) to signify the importance of listening over speaking, and small eyes to symbolize the importance of always seeing others as larger than yourself. To me, Lord Ganesh represents my family (especially my dad who has adorned all of our houses with literally almost 100 idols of Ganesha), new beginnings (and everything starts with your hands), and the remover of all the obstacles that come before me.

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My left-hand man

Why I’m drawn to Hinduism

The main reasons I’m drawn to Hinduism as a religion (other than the fact that I was born into it) are because of it’s portrayals of Gods, love, and it being more a way of life than a religion. Gods, in Hinduism, are shown to be extremely human in their feelings, emotions, and actions. They are all flawed, and defined by not just their strengths, but also their weaknesses. Another reason I find myself interested in Hinduism is because of the representation of love. The fact that God’s are married, the image of marital bliss, or even forbidden lovers. I know A really loves the emphasis of feminism found in the religion. All of these things combined make Hinduism a little more relatable. Of course, I also love the fantastical and sci-fi elements of it all as well, but it is important, I think, to be able to relate to a religion.

Obviously there is so much more to learn. It seems the information on Hinduism is endless. I’ve really only provided a brief background and information on a few deities. If you’re still curious, BBC provides great, but brief, information on their site or I’m more than happy to give you my Dadi’s (Grandmother’s) phone number!

Lots of love (and prayers),

K

Honesty Hour 3

Hey guys!

So I’m thinking it’s about time to go back to the basics here on Jointly. A and I have always envisioned this as a place where we can be ourselves, honestly.

Join us in round 3 of Getting to Know the Gautams. So cue Honesty Hour!

 

K

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A

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1. What is your least favorite chore?

K – Doing dishes. For sure. Hands down. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing me wash dishes (especially if it’s not my own dish), it’s more than clear that I hate it. I’ve been told that I hold the dishes as far away from my body as possible and look utterly disgusted the whole time.

A – It’s a tie between taking out the trash (disgusting), and cleaning the fridge (potentially even more disgusting). And taking out the trash after having just cleaned your fridge… nauseating. And K, imagine those rotten food dishes… HA!

2. What is your favorite quote?

K – I have so many favorite quotes, I can’t really choose one. But recently I rediscovered a Malcom X gem that I can’t seem to get out of my head: “When ‘I’ is replaced with ‘We,’ even illness becomes wellness.”

A – Again, so many, but one has been sticking with me a lot lately. “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung

3. If you could learn anything, what would it be?

K – If I could learn anything I think I would want to learn more about design. Both interior design and web design. Both of which are so doable and I will probably dabble in after the big A & A wedding is done.

Also I’ve always wanted to take photography classes – so why not throw that in there too?

A – I’d want to learn how to write a screenplay. For some reason, before I ever dreamed of writing books, I’d write weird movie concepts. They were mostly Hindi movie musicals, but nonetheless. I’d also want to learn graphic design. Logos fascinate me.

4. What is the #1 song on your “Top 25 Most Played” list on iTunes?

K – This is going to be so humiliating, but I’ll check…Ishq Wala Love…followed by Laal Ishq. In my defense, this is because I listen to all my English music on Spotify or Soundcloud. But….okay yeah…I have no defense.

A – Oh no… Yes. Embarrassed. Mine is also “Ishq Wala Love,” but I have a feeling it’s because I stole all of K’s music and put it on my phone at some point, and IWL has just sort of stayed there. My second is “Kabira” which… is literally one of the best songs of all time.

5. What is something you’ve learned in the past month?

K – In the past few months I’ve come to learn that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself. At the end of the day people will look out for themselves, so I guess you have to do the same thing.

A – In the past month I’ve learned that the best way to be happy is to not give a shit about the things that make you unhappy. This sounds extreme, but disengaging, taking a step back and really evaluating why is really liberating. And a lot of the times, the unhappiness has nothing to do with you (it’s caused by other people, things, situations). So it’s best to do whatever you can to help make it better, and then slowly move on.

6. Would you rather read a book on an iPad/Kindle, or in print?

K – As much as I love the feel of reading an actual book, I have to admit that I’ve fallen in love with reading on my iPad. I mean…you can literally look up the meaning of a word with one tap! Sigh, technology is so amazing.

A – Hands down a million times over, a book. I love the smell of them (I know it’s weird but I don’t care!), I love folding pages over, I love making notes in the margins, I love making it mine.

7. Hike or bike?

K – Hike. I think I would love biking if I actually did it, but for the past few years I’ve been obsessed with hiking. Being able to exercise and be one with nature at the same time is a priceless experience.

A – Hike. I love being able to slowly absorb everything around me. Sit down in places that are exceptionally beautiful. Find nooks and crannies that are off the beaten (bike) path. But I have to admit, having the wind in my hair in central park on a rented bike also has its splendors.

8. What has been your biggest success up until now?

K – I think my biggest success hasn’t been one specific thing. I think it’s been a number of challenges, realizations, and successes combined to make me who I am today. Being me is my biggest success.

A – This is tough. The no brainer is my career. I have worked really really hard to get where I am, and no it may not be the most impressive place in the world, but I’m still pretty impressed with myself :).

9. What is your spirit animal?

K – I want to say a wolf, but maybe that’s just because they’re beautiful and so bad ass in Game of Thrones.

A – I had to take a quiz to answer this question. I got a wolf.  #twinsies. Followed closely by swan…….?

10. What family member do you think you are most like?

K – I think I’m a true mixture of literally everyone in my family, except for A because we’re obviously the most alike. I think when it comes to my parents though, I’m a perfect cusp. Most of my hobbies and interests come from my dad, while my passion and thought process is more like my mom’s.

A – I think I’m a mix between my paternal grandmother (Dadi), and maternal grandfather (Nanoo). I’m really emotional (surprise) and wear my heart on my sleeve, like Dadi. And I’m really introspective, like my quiet/reading/writing time, like Nanoo. But K and I are basically twins… so overarchingly I would say her.