Honesty Hour

Welcome to our second official Honesty Hour on Jointly! We’ve promised to always bring you the cold, hard truth, so brace yourself. We’re about to open up our hearts, minds, and yes, mouths, to you.

Question: What is something that has been bothering you lately?

K

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To be totally honest (cue Honest by Future), something pretty big has been bothering me since the start of the new year. It’s funny I’m actually hesitant to come out and say this because I’m not one for expressing my truest, inner feelings with the entire internet world. But, here goes nothing. Since 2014 began I’ve felt repeated pangs of disappoint in people around me. In fact, I think at some point every single person I’m close to has found a way to let me down in 2014. I think the number one thing that makes me lose a little faith in people is their readiness to commit to something, to make promises, and then to back out without even an ounce of guilt. I don’t think people realize that when they commit to something they put themselves in a position where you are relying on them.  Why anyone would not mind letting others down, I’m not quite sure.

Our dad always taught us to follow through on commitments. It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want to go to that family party, or how much you don’t want to talk to your distant relative on the phone, you suck it up and you do it, and do it with a goddamn smile. These are basic manners that have been handed down generation by generation since God knows when and honestly I’m not sure how they got lost in Generation Y.

Suck it up and do it with a goddamn smile, Generation Y.

A

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One of the biggest realizations of my (young) adult life has been people’s sad proclivities to put themselves last. It’s funny to write this in conjunction with my sister’s post because when I was her age… in fact, maybe up until I was like 24… I felt much the same way as her. I felt like people should do things for each other. And I will always think that way (for the most part). I will always go to places I don’t want to go, and try my best to pick up the phone when I don’t want to talk, but sometimes I really really really just need to do things for me.

After umpteenth nights of staying at work late because someone wanted to talk after their 15 meetings, or skipping my workout to to talk to a friend on the phone, or smiling and bearing it as all of my hopes and dreams of reading a book on my bed went into the shitter because I had to go get last minute drinks with my client, my perspective has changed.

What’s been bothering me lately is that some people put themselves last, even in a world where others put themselves first. If you want to come in at 11am because you want to hit up your favorite yoga class in the morning, then why can’t I leave at 7pm to spend time with my fiancé or HELLO – PLAN MY UPCOMING WEDDING.

I understand the importance of hard-work, and putting time in to earn stars and stripes – in work, friendships, and life in general. But I’m over always forgoing my own wants and needs. At the end of the day, if you’re not happy, healthy, and… well… sane… everything in your life will suffer. So I say, tell your friends you can’t (unless it’s something important like a birthday, or if you already promised – then don’t be a flake! No one likes flakes!), leave your phone in the other room, and CHILL. You deserve it. I’m sure.
Also I am happy to recommend content on Netflix, Hulu, or HBO Go for your viewing pleasure.
Jointly yours,
A & K

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